Something
I Learned Today
5/28/2002
– I really didn’t
know where else to put this, but here is a 1-minute clip of my family
vacation. I went with a few of my
cousins looking for the Christmas party for the crew, since everyone else
seemed to be sleeping. The video
requires Real Player and has been edited to
the backdrop of “The Goonies” (Good job, Dad) - Goonie
Wannabes
5/27/2002
– According to my
friend Kelly in Australia, “in Polish ... if the man’s last name ends in ski
... then the woman’s name ends in ska ... which can be very confusing when
tracing family trees and the English language has nothing like it.” She has also reminded me that our toilets
flush in opposite directions. Next time
you’re in Poland or on the toilet, think of Kelly.
5/26/2002
– With thanks to my
dad, I now know where my tax money goes.
Here’s NASA experimenting with popping water balloons in space - Water Balloons.
5/25/2002
– More songs that
sound alike. This one is pretty funny –
Kenny Wayne Shepard not only says at the beginning of the song “This is a song
I wrote”, but also is off an album called “Ledbetter Heights”. The only difference I can tell is he took
out lyrics and added a keyboard.
Pearl
Jam’s Yellow Ledbetter.mp3 and Kenny Wayne’s
While We Cry.mp3
5/24/2002
– Bob suggested
another two songs that sounds alike:
Huey
Lewis’ I Want a New Drug and the theme to Ghostbusters.mp3
5/23/2002
– Today is
dedicated to songs that sound too similar to be a coincidence. Every so often I hear a song, and think “Hey
this sounds just like (fill in the blank)”.
So here are a few songs that fit that bill. Let me know if there are more that you can think of.
1.
Led
Zeppelin’s Babe I'm Gonna Leave You and Chicago’s
25 or 6 to 4
2.
Sister
Hazel’s All for You and Blues Traveler’s Run Around
3.
Dobie
Grey’s Drift Away and Train’s Drops of Jupiter
4.
And
the biggest surprise – George Harrison’s My Sweet
Lord and The Chiffon’s He's So Fine
·
Puff
Daddy songs don’t count since they’re all rip-offs.
5/22/2002
– In a poor attempt
to create continuity from yesterday’s fact, I found out that world-renowned
physicist, Stephen Hawking, is also a bad-ass rapper. Check it out - MC Hawking
5/21/2002
– I’ve heard about
String Theory in physics. I was reading
in some magazine that for string theory to be true, ten dimensions would need
to exist. Last I counted, we’re six
dimensions short. MSNBC has String
Theory for dummies. I still don’t get
it - String Theory
5/20/2002
– I tried this
negotiation game online to test my skills.
After about 150 tries, I finally got the guy not to blow himself
up. Might I suggest not calling me if
you’re ever in need of negotiator - The
Negotiator
5/19/2002
– Another strike
looms for Major League Baseball. I have
never said this before, so make sure I stick to it – If the World Series gets
cancelled this year, I will not pay to see another game for at least two years. One of the major issues coming to the table
is testing for steroid use. It’s
amazing that baseball players have never been tested, while they made a big
stink about Mark McGwire using some perfectly legal, over the counter supplement. People wonder why so many homeruns are being
hit today? You wonder why Sammy Sosa’s
crinkled face makes him appear to be 55 years old (While his intelligence
remains like a 9 year old)? I even
heard that Indians pitcher, Chuck Finley, has taken steroids. Perhaps he should have taken more to prevent
his wife from beating him up. Steroid
Crackdown
5/18/2002
– There’s a site http://www.factoftheday.com/ that has facts far
superior to these. Today’s fact is: “From 1919 to 1933 it was illegal to sell and
manufacture alcohol in the United States. It was believed that the
consumption of alocoholic beverages presented a serious threat to the integrity
of their most vital intstitutions, especially the institution of the family.”
*
I just
noticed that the “Fact of the Day” website included two spelling mistakes. I am no longer impressed.
5/17/2002
– I think Superman
could kick Spiderman’s ass. I have a
problem with the movie (Don’t worry I’m not ruining it. The directors took care of that.) Spiderman didn’t have any super human
strength. Yet he was able to hold a
giant cable-like car with about a dozen kids in it. That didn’t seem right.
5/13/2002
– Mike and Kate
Bonomo filled me in on the new trend in lawn mulch. They take old tires and turn it into mulch, allowing for improved
aeration and different colors. Here’s a
sample Tire
Mulch
5/12/2002
– Maya Angelou is a
good speaker.
5/10/2002
– If you ever take
I-57 south from Chicago to Champaign, take note of the signs showing the
distance to Champaign. One sign says 85
miles to Champaign and 19.5 miles later a sign reads 70 miles to Champaign. Perhaps I missed something in my calculus
courses.
5/9/2002
– I will be gone
for the next week or two – Therefore the “Something I learned today” section
probably won’t be updated daily.
The
trusty “National Ice Center” is up to no good again - More
Chunks O' Ice
5/8/2002
– Continuing on
with the national anthem thing… Did anyone else know that “My Country ‘Tis of
Thee” ripped off England’s God Save the Queen. I’m pretty pissed that they made me sing
England’s National Anthem for all of those years in grade school. At least they could have taught us something
cool like the Soviet one or the Hunt for Red
October theme.
5/7/2002
– I have a new
found respect for the former Soviet Union.
Their National Anthem is pretty sweet. It is full of spirit and one might see the
pride it exuded in the once vast empire. If the cold war were fought solely based on national anthems, the
U.S., Australia, Canada, England, and France wouldn’t stand a chance. We have one pussy anthem after the next. In case you were wondering how to pronounce
the words for your next Soviet gathering, the transliteration can be found here
- Hammer and Sickle. Translations and histories of most (if not
all) national anthems can be found on that site.
5/6/2002
– There’s a
Radiohead song named Like Spinning Plates. The song is recorded backwards. The lead singer sang the words he wanted to
say, then listened to the way it sounded backwards. He then pronounced what he heard when he listened to it in reverse. When the backwards gibberish sounds are
again reversed, it gives the illusion that he sang it normally. You’ll hear what I mean if you listen to it. And most likely you’ll have to read what I
wrote a few times to have any clue what I was trying to say. That and more Radiohead information here - Green Plastic
5/5/2002
– The Nazi-ish guy lost the election in France 82% - 18%. Here’s a salute to all those who voted for
freedom and other good stuff. They also
had an 80% voter turnout, about double what we normally get in the US - French
Election
5/4/2002
– Two thoughts on
today’s Cinco de Mayo celebration. First,
it’s a Mexican holiday celebrating some battle against the French. It appears, however, that Americans
celebrate it to a far greater extent than our friends south of the border. Second, today is el Cuatro de Mayo. The holiday is tomorrow. Anyone who watched Sesame Street from the
ages of 18 – 24 months knows how to count to 10 in Spanish. Kudos to Corona and Jose Cuervo for a
tremendous job marketing this holiday.
5/3/2002
– Mike Tyson
remains a gentleman and a scholar.
Thanks to Paul for the article - Mike Tyson
5/2/2002
– My life has
officially reached a new low. I’ve been
interested in the Dvorak Keyboard lately.
The story goes that the keyboards we type on (known as QWERTY) were made
to be inefficient to prevent typewriter jam-ups. So Dvorak developed an “optimal” keyboard configuration. Rumor has it that once you learn it you can
type twice as fast since 70% of all English keystrokes can be typed in the home
row. Anyways, I actually have spent
some time today learning the basics of the Dvorak keyboard. In case you want to try it, there’s an
option in Control Panel under keyboard to add “United States – Dvorak”. Don’t worry, you can change it back very
painlessly. Here’s the layout and some
history - Dvorak Keyboard. And here’s some practice lessons - I am such a
pathetic loser
5/1/2002
– There seem to be
a growing number of people who deeply regret doing porn or taking provocative
pictures at a very young age. People
don’t seem to realize that movies and photos can last a lifetime. However, this guy must get more shit from
his friends for this picture than anyone in the porn industry - Smile
Pretty
For
those of you who remember the Aussie “Butt Poker”, he’s got nothing on this guy
- Scrambled
or Poached?
4/30/2002
– Two stories from
“News of the Weird”. These people seems
to be a bit unclear of some basic fundamental concepts:
1)
In February, public school employee Maggie Wallace, 45, was
sentenced to a year in jail; last Sept. 12, she had thought the kids needed a
breather from the events the day before and so called in a bomb threat so the
school would close.
2)
Jose Portillo, 27, was charged in February with having sex
with an underage girl, who was 12 at the time and then became pregnant;
Portillo told police he thought she was 13.
4/29/2002
– My favorite quote
of the day, “The same Cubs who are working on their second 100-year plan.” This article really helps illustrate some
points I’ve been making about the lowly Cubs for years - Cellar Dwellers
I
started thinking and realized that the article about the Cubs only reinforced
what I already knew. So, my fact is
that Transformers are coming back - More
than meets the eye
As
an added bonus, here’s the Transformers song from the TV show - Robots in Disguise
4/26/2002
– 4/28/2002 – Baltimore
International Airport has tremendous nachos.
I got some with chicken.
* I apologize for missing a couple of days here. I took a pleasant break from my computer and
the Internet this weekend.
4/25/2002
– It’s nothing new
finding out that Albert Belle was a scumbag in the clubhouse. But former teammate, Omar Vizquel, writes in
his new book that Belle corked all of his bats. You may remember the corked bat incident in 1994 – It appears
that it wasn’t an isolated incident. It
serves him right. Albert was nothing
but trouble in every clubhouse he stepped foot into - Hollow on the Inside
Another
AIC song. I really don’t know what it
is about - No Excuses
4/24/2002
– Thanks to Bob, I
have solved my hotmail issue from a few days back. In case anyone else has had the same problem as me, Bob writes, “If
you go into your options menu, you can choose not to have the confirmation of
email screen”. Thanks Bob.
This
song is about a Vietnam veteran they called “The Rooster” - Rooster and Rooster
Unplugged
And
here’s another unrelated Rooster song - Little Red
Rooster
4/23/2002
– White Sox are in
first. Cubs are in last. ‘Nuf said.
I
think this song is about living in the public eye and dealing with the
media. Here’s both the original and the
unplugged versions - Nutshell and Nutshell Unplugged
4/22/2002
– Congratulations to
Cristie Kerr for her first win on the LPGA tour. She appears to be a very talented young lady - LPGA
in Lincoln, CA
More “Alice in Chains” - I
Stay Away
4/21/2002
– Something is
really messed up with our collective priorities. People are trying to kill Americans, we’re trying to kill those
people, and suicide bombers are still running rampant. And what’s the headline news? The Hawaiian Humane Society launched a
$50,000 campaign to save a dog on a boat.
I’m speechless. I have a dog,
and I love animals. But there’s
something severely screwed up here. Did
you cry when Bambi’s Mom died? Or when
Old Yeller got shot? Ok, did you cry
when Vincent Ludwig fell and got trampled by the USC marching band? You see what I’m getting at here? And the CNN poll shows that 59% of people
believe it’s worth the cost and effort to save this dog. Well, in case you’re interested, here’s the
story - Dog
on Boat
I’m
still a little bummed about the Layne Staley thing. So I’m going to continue to share more of his music for a while -
Heaven Beside You - Unplugged
4/20/2002
– Layne Staley,
lead singer of “Alice in Chains”, was found dead today at his home in
Seattle. His music has played an
important part in my life over the past decade, and despite the fact that the
band had already broken up, all of his fans feel some sort of loss today. The latest news on his autopsy and a forum
for fans can be found at their website - Alice
In Chains. I enjoy so many of their
songs, but I’ve chosen the one I’ve listened to most lately to share - Don't Follow.
4/19/2002
– I’m a little
upset with Hotmail lately. They keep
trying to sell extra storage space since they only give you 2 Megs or so. Now they have a bar showing you what
percentage of your allotted space you’re using. And after you send an email, instead of bringing you back to the
inbox where you can delete the message you responded to, they bring you to a
new page letting you know who you sent your message to. Do they think I’m some sort of idiot that I
had no idea who I was writing to? Like
I was playing email roulette, writing about my day, only then to find out the
lucky person that would hear my exciting news?
I’m also pissed that every time I click on a link in my email, a new
window opens, but it’s a hotmail window with my link embedded in it. But that’s nothing new – they’ve been
tracking my activity for years.
4/18/2002
– Every one of my
14 news channels had the arrest of Robert Blake on tonight. I had no idea who Robert Blake was, so I
looked him up. Speaking of which,
here’s a good movie site if you ever need it - Internet
Movie Database. So the only movie
I’ve seen with Robert Blake was Money Train. The movie was pretty good with Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, and
Jennifer Lopez before she became a skank and made it big. But I still don’t know who Robert Blake is. What I do know is that he’s in some pretty
deep shit.
Sox
Sweep
4/17/2002
– Southwest
airlines is pretty cool. If you book a
flight and then don’t show up, you get a credit for the flight, which you can
use anytime within the year. And I’ve
called them twice, and got a person on the other end of the line without any
wait. Try calling any other major
airline and let me know who (or what) you end up talking to.
The
Sox pounded the Tribe again.
4/16/2002
– Jon Rauch made
his first major league start and led the White Sox to a commanding 10-5 win
over the Cleveland Indians. The players
on the Tribe weren’t the only ones getting their asses kicked – Their fans took
a pretty severe beating in the stands too.
The most disappointing part of the evening was that Kenny Lofton’s
spectacular catch (he really got on his horse) didn’t make ESPN’s Web
Gems. But let’s focus on the
positives. Magglio hit his fifth career
grand slam, the Sox had a 9 run second inning, and the middle relief is
starting to look decent. Most
importantly, the Sox made a statement, letting the Tribe know that we’ll be
here all season. Their winning streak
was against crappy teams like Anaheim, Baltimore and Detroit. And now it’s over. Let the games begin in the AL Central. Here’s the game recap - Sox beat the Tribe
It
looks like Tawny Kitean (sp?) isn’t the only one who beats up on Chuck Finley.
4/15/2002
– My dad was
showing me Venus last night right next to the moon. How he knew it was Venus is beyond me. Then he let me know that the moon would be passing by four
planets in four nights. So if you’re a
stargazer, well, this isn’t for you.
But if you like planets, check out this link - Moon and
Planets
4/14/2002
– I personally
believe that pennies should be done away with.
I also believe that sentences can end in prepositions. I read that it costs the U.S. mint .81 cents
to make each penny. It costs stores
more to pay their cashiers for the time spent dishing out the pennies and
counting them at the end of their shift than just rounding to the nearest
nickel. So if something costs $4.97,
it’s quicker and cheaper for the store to give a nickel change instead of 3
pennies. Although, all credit card and
electronic transactions will remain accurate to the cent. Advocates of keeping the penny say that it
could cost consumers upwards of $600 million per year. Although this is inflated due to rounding
upwards, I will give them the benefit of the doubt for a second. Given that to be true, it would cost the
average American less than $3 a year or less than 1 cent per day. Pennies are a burden to our entire society
and need to be phased out. I’m not the
only one who hates pennies - Pennies. This group has done their research. According to these guys, a typical Walgreens
could save $2,000 per year without pennies - Coin Coalition
4/13/2002
– If you want to
brush up on your “picking up” skills, start here - Female or Shemale. I only got 3 wrong. In the real world, that would be nothing to
be proud of.
4/12/2002
– I remember
learning about a story called “The Beale Cipher” when I was younger (I couldn’t
have learned it when I was older, but I’ll set that aside for another
discussion on another day). I’ve always
been somewhat fascinated with codes, cryptology and ciphers. Anyways, some dude in the 1800’s (James
Ward) said he had worked on three papers, all coded in numbers for the better
part of his life. The story goes that
he who could decode the three would know the location of a buried treasure. Some guy (Thomas Beale) who had buried the
treasure left these encrypted papers and promised he would give the key
later. He died and didn’t keep his
promise. Only the second paper was
deciphered. There is dissenting opinion
that the whole story is a hoax. There
are plenty of links out there about this story, and I’m leaving out a whole
bunch since it’s pretty long. Here’s
one version - Beale Cipher
4/11/2002
– In an attempt to
bolster a sagging local economy, the state of Nevada has passed legislation to
phase out all laws over the next decade - Phase Out.
4/10/2002
– Paul McCartney is
59 or 60 years old and he can still seriously rock the house. He is probably the best pure performer I
have ever seen. Not only is he the
typical Beatles bass player and singer.
But also he plays electric guitar, acoustic guitar, piano and synthesizers. He even whipped out a ukulele for a tribute
to George Harrison. The thing I was
most impressed with was he really nailed that Phillips Commercial Song that
goes “You’ve got to admit it’s getting better”.
4/9/2002
– Some study was
done about crime on University Campuses.
Four of the top 32 schools in this study (Top School = High Crime Rate)
are in Chicago. It kinda gives you that
warm, fuzzy feeling, doesn’t it? In
case you’re interested, Illinois Institute of Technology, University of
Illinois Chicago, University of Chicago and DePaul all made the top 50. Loyola slipped by at number 59. As a comparison, Harvard came in at
#541. To prevent any libel (slander?)
lawsuits from pissed off recruiters, here’s my source - Crime on Campus
4/8/2002
– I had no idea
until I went to this dude’s website the Jesus is with me always. I’m particularly fond of the picture of
Jesus and the truck driver. You have to
check it out (and spread the gospel while you’re at it) - With You Always
4/7/2002
– Eating lots of
lettuce can cause your poop to turn green.
4/6/2002
– I always thought
the whole idea of Daylight Savings Time was pretty dumb. You still get the same number of hours of
daylight, regardless of what time it is.
Just figure out how to use them to your advantage. Given that statement, I should probably
commend Indiana for telling the rest of us to “Screw off, we’re not changing
our stinking clocks”. But they had to
open their mouths, and give the lamest reason ever. That the cows wouldn’t milk properly if it was done an hour
earlier or later than usual. Did anyone
think that the farmers could wake up an hour earlier or later? Apparently not - (Insert your own Hoosier
joke here). Turn your clocks
back 20 years
4/5/2002
- The Chicago Cubs
put up "security" screens above the bleachers in reaction to
9/11. I kind of feel bad for all of the
people who paid a pretty penny for those buildings with rooftop views into the
stadium. On the other hand, the Cubs
may have done them a favor, saving a few hundred Cubs fans from watching them
lose to the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates. The
Screen
4/4/2002
– There’s a pretty
big asteroid (0.6 miles across) hurdling toward earth and could hit sometime in
March, 2880. Don’t say your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great
grandchildren weren’t warned. Asteroid
4/3/2002
– I’ve been acting
as somewhat of a Good Samaritan lately, so I won’t break from the trend just
yet. Today’s lesson in survival has to
do with marriage. It seems that MSNBC
found it newsworthy (front page for that matter) to talk about the risks of
marrying your cousin. Just in case this
thought crossed your mind (I know it did mine), read this article first. It’s a good thing all of my cousins are
guys. Another thought that crosses my
mind is the population sample used in this study - Inbred Marriage
I found an interesting baseball statistic. The Cubs
and White Sox have been to the playoffs a combined 14 times since 1918. The
have lost in the first round all 14 times.
4/2/2002 - There's all sorts of financial
calculators on the internet. Most of them remind me (and depress me at the same
time) that I'll need all sorts of millions of dollars just to retire on a modest
budget. But I found one that might help someone stop smoking. I put in $4 a
pack for a pack a day smoker over 40 years. It was like half a million dollars
spent or something ridiculous like that. So this is my good deed for the day.
Check out this site - Stop
Smoking
4/1/2002 - I knew my days were numbered.
Today became the first day of the rest of my life - I've been laid off. I
learned that we're all like rolls of toilet paper. We're good when the boss
needs us, but they dispose of us just as quickly when they're done using us to
clean the mess. And we're left swirling in a bowl of turds, covered in crap. I
drowned my sorrows in a few games of bowling. So, if anyone wants to hang out,
I have plenty of free time now. And what better time to be free than the
beginning of the baseball season. The White Sox are undefeated and the Cubs
still haven't won a game.
* Alright, this
was a really lame April Fool's Joke. I realized before I even wrote it that it
wasn't that funny. Thanks to the three people who sent their sympathies. So I'm
still employed and still not really that funny.
3/31/2002 - I was watching a show on the
history of Jesus on TLC. They made him out to be some sort of hippie radical who
had a pretty big following. You know, down with the Roman government and their
oppressive rule and love thy neighbor. He seemed like a pretty cool guy.
Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so - Jesus has remained the most
popular hippie, even 2000 years later.
3/30/2002 - If you saw two guys named Hambone
and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy,
wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.
3/29/2002 - What the hell is going on in
Israel? Suicide bombings every other day, and just today the Israelis have
Arafat surrounded. I hope somebody had a plan that went farther than,
"Hey, let's tear down his headquarters and scare him a little".
Seriously though, this all has me a little scared. There seems to be little
hope for peace.
On
a related note, I was watching 20/20 with Barbara Walters in Saudi Arabia. I
knew they had a repressed society, but this was ridiculous. Guys aren't allowed
to be out with girls, so they all get in a car (women can't drive), drive up
and down the street, just killing time. There is absolutely no social aspect to
their society whatsoever. No wonder they get so bored and agitated. It was
suggested that my earlier idea of Air Conditioners in the Middle East be
enhanced with pot fumes in the air ducts. The hope is that the cool air and
mellowing effect would calm any violent tendencies.
3/28/2002 - The White Sox beat the Cubs 22-7
today. Boy that feels good to say.
3/27/2002 - Some guy in Barlett, Illinois
received a 100 year sentence for killing his parents. I guess the moral of the
story is, "Don't kill your parents". Here's the first lesson in what
not to do - Bad Kid
* My mom was a bit concerned with this fact. I convinced her that I was doing this in the
best interest of society. If I stop
only one kid from killing his parents, I’ve done my job as an upstanding
citizen.
3/26/2002 - I hear that when bars have cheap
wing night it's because they're getting a new batch for the next week. That
still didn't stop me from eating about 30 week-old wings.
3/25/2002 - My friend Nigel from Australia
tells me that some guy in Rugby League (I guess they have two leagues down
under - I'm sure they have a good explanation) shoved his finger up another
dude's anal cavity during a game. The guy's name is John Hopoate, so if he
somehow makes his way into your life, beware. And David Stern gets upset with
Jason Kidd showing a finger to the crowd. For the not so faint of heart, check
out the article (Caution: There are quotes like "Your undies are getting
reefed up your arse". Make sure to scroll past the non-making-sensical
Aussie crap before the John Hopoate "Award" Section- John Hopoate
3/24/2002 - I've been doing my own personal
salsa taste test. I was pleasantly surprised with Jewel's generic
"President's Choice Hot Salsa with Chunks". It was far better than
most of those posh, upscale looking salsas. I'll generally try a generic brand
at least once. And with single ply TP, I'll stress I only used it once. That
one use of rubbing refurbished tree bark between my cheeks caused me to limp
slightly for over a week. I'm just about over the trauma. Thanks for all of the
sympathy cards.
3/23/2002 - There's a little controversy
brewing over some 'N Sync guy in Moscow. He wants to pay the Russian space
program so he can go into space. I say let him. Anything that will prevent 'N
Sync from recording another song that'll get stuck in my head for weeks on end
is a good thing. I hate walking down the street thinking to myself, "Ain't
no lie, baby, bye bye bye". In fact, let him stay up there for a while. I
can do without their concerts on HBO too.
3/22/2002 - Ok, this fact is serious. So if
you can't handle serious subject matter, please don't read it. Former major
league baseball player and current announcer, Tom Paciorek, has admitted to
being sexual abused by a priest at his Michigan church when he was a child. The
only reason I write about this is that I have always enjoyed and respected Tom
Paciorek as a player and as an announcer. And also that molestation and sexual
abuse is just horrible. The thought of it all makes me sick. These children
suffer their entire lives because of some sick bastard. Here's an article - Tom Paciorek
3/21/2002 - The Indiana Hoosiers upset the
Duke Blue Devils. I'm sure that messed up a good share of office pools.
3/20/2002 - I was watching "In Search
Of..." on TLC or the History Channel or some channel I thought only my
parents watched. Anyways, they had a show on something called "The Coral
Castle". Apparently some 100 pound Latvian immigrant made a castle by hand
from 1920 - 1940. The amazing part was that it weighs something like 3,000,000
pounds, with some of the stones weighing 10 tons each. The host, Leonard Nimoy
(aka Spock), suggested theories of anti-gravity and all sorts of other
paranormal means by which this thing was built by one man. Personally, I think
that over 20 years he could have made some pretty mean pullies and levers. But
that wouldn't make for much of a show, would it? The official site is here - Coral Castle
3/19/2002 - The National Ice Center has
detected a big ass chunk of ice that broke off from Antarctica. I'm not so much
concerned with the 53 mile by 40 mile chunk of ice, but rather the fact that we
actually have a National Ice Center. Here's the article - Chunk
O' Ice
3/18/2002 - I miss using Napster back in the
day when it was the Napster we all loved. So I switched to Morpheus. Then
Morpheus got all messed up, and now I'm using Kazaa. And Kazaa seems a little
intrusive. Plus they have far more pop up windows than the other two. If you
have no clue what I'm talking about, don't worry so much - It's pretty shady to
begin with.
3/17/2002 - My Alma Mater has made it to the
NCAA Sweet 16. If you have a minute, say a prayer for the Illini. They're going
to need it.
3/16/2002 - I was under the impression that
"Chicks dig the middle linebacker". So I wandered the streets of
Savannah with my #54 Brian Urlacher jersey. To make a long story short, there
were a lot of guys commenting on the shirt. Which leads to the more accurate
motto, "Dudes dig the middle linebacker."
3/15/2002 - I had never played the original
Playstation until last night. For being "outdated" those games are
pretty cool. One suggestion though - All of the players in Madden 1999 were
black. Being the 1985 Bears was fun and all, but Jim McMahon and Kevin Butler
were never that tan.
3/14/2002 - My friend Danny is being gracious
enough to give me his couch for the night. So he gets to give the first
honorary fact of the day. “According to Reuters News Service, the Dunlop Tire
company has offered $16,000 to 2,000 Canadians with the last name of Dunlop if
they will permanently change their last name to Dunlop-Tire. Thirty Seven percent
of Canadians polled said that they would do it. You've gotta love our good
friends in Canada" - Dan.
3/13/2002 - There's an article about how the
airline industry is recovering and will be back to normal in 2003. The article
continues to talk about steady growth in the industry. Which leads me to two
basic questions. 1) Does anyone remember how backed up the airports were before
9/11? Are they finally going to build some new runways? 2) That multibillion
dollar bailout the airlines received from our tax money after 9/11 - Shouldn't
they have to pay it back to us when they start turning a profit? Here's the
article - Air
Travel
This
is something I learned about a month ago when some of my cousins came over to
my apartment. I just forgot to write about it. But they said that Jeff McInnis
of the Clippers isn't white. They're right. He's black.
3/12/2002 - I think "Bistro" must
be French for crappy food. They give you these "Bistro" bags so that
you'll have dinner on a long flight, instead of serving you like they used to.
I'm not usually too picky about my food, but for a $1600 plane ticket they
could have spent the extra couple of dollars to give me something I'd actually
eat. Or better yet, just save the money and tell me to bring my own food onto
the plane. I'll splurge and get something good at Taco Bell or McDonald's.
3/11/2002 - There are a lot more court cases
that make prime time news in Los Angeles. And Lance Ito is still a judge. I
think he's presiding over some dog mauling case right now.
3/10/2002 - I didn't really learn anything
interesting today. Except that Venice Beach is really nice, and the people are
cool and laid back. About 30 people had this big ass drum circle on the beach.
Some dude didn't get the message and brought bagpipes instead. All I could
think about was getting a combine and a steamroller (I have a feeling only a
few people are going to get that joke). I guess I need to take back everything
bad I said about Los Angeles (except those things I said about the Lakers).
Overall it has treated me pretty well.
3/9/2002 - Alright, I have a theory that
could potentially help bring peace to the world. I've presented this to a
number of people, and in general I haven't received any positive feedback. But
I'm still looking to make an impact, so here goes:
There
have been countless studies linking increased temperature to increased criminal
and violent behavior. Here's one study I just found -
Now,
think about where the most violence is occurring in the world right now. You
hear about Israel and the Palestinians, the Hindus and Muslims in India, warlords
in Columbia, those terrorists in Somalia. I could go on and on. Now what they
all have in common is that they're all near the equator and very hot. You never
hear about violent crimes in Denmark or Iceland. Now my proposed solution is
that we give these countries air conditioners so that they can "cool
off", both literally and figuratively. I truly believe that air
conditioning is the key to world peace. Just think about this next time you're
out on a hot summer day when it's 95 degrees and humid. And think about how
angry you're starting to get.
3/8/2002 - Today is my half birthday. Which
made me wonder how official that really is. Since February is a short month, I
don't think this is exactly a half year since my last birthday. It's probably
Sunday or something.
Olin
Kreutz resigned with the Chicago Bears for far less money than was being
offered by the Miami Dolphins. Because of that I have a new found respect for
the man that extends beyond the gridiron. I could never understand why a group
of talented players couldn't work together to stay under the salary cap. I
won't get into the fact that Olin is "only" making $23 million,
however it is a breath of fresh air to see something like this. I can't help
but think of contracts like the one Randy Moss signed. I'm sure that is part of
the reason they had to get rid of their other receiver, Cris Carter this year
to stay under the cap.
3/7/2002 - Somebody please explain "El
Nino" to me. I was under the impression that it was like those locusts
that come around every 17 years or something. But every year I'm hearing about
"El Nino" and "La Nina" and how they're bringing
Armageddon. First of all, nobody I know has ever seen any noticeable difference
in their lives due to this phenomenon. Secondly, if this happens every year, it
no longer qualifies as a phenomenon. It is merely part of the natural cycle of
things. Think of it as summer - It gets warmer and it rains a bit more. Here's
the latest "holy shit" article about "El Nino" 2002 - El Nino
3/6/2002 - I am working about two miles from
Compton, which is where the LA Riots happened from what I understand. Or maybe
it's just where Dr. Dre grew up. I think I'll take advantage and try and find
Snoop Dog and all of those other West Coast rappers. They would probably
appreciate an aspiring musician like myself. We could all try and find P. Diddy
on the East Coast and pop a cap in his ass. I'll be the first to admit I don't
like rap, but P. Diddy is just ridiculous. How can anybody like him?
My
friend Nicole told me that "jeez" is short for "Jesus". I
had no clue.
* My mom claims
that "jeez" is short for "gee whiz". I guess she and Nicole
are going to have to duke this one out.
* My mom retracted
her earlier statement. She looked up "jeez" in some dictionary and
only found one entry - "euphemism for Jesus". So apologies to Nicole
who was visibly shaken and, to say the least, ready to bust some knee caps, over
this incident.
3/5/2002 - Security at the airport is no
tighter than it was a year ago. I got there at 10:00 am for an 11:55 am flight.
I checked a bag and was at my gate by 10:15. And it was one of those far gates
at the end of the terminal. I met some lady on the plane who says she's friends
with Samaki Walker. I told her to tell Samaki to tell Shaq that he's a puss,
and that the Bulls kicked their asses. Twice.
Supplimental - I've been keeping a log of facts
for the last week as I've been out of town. Stay tuned - They will be posted on
Wednesday.
3/4/2002 - Today I learned only to offer a
helping hand if you really, really are willing to do it. A friend of mine
needed help at work, and I said I'd be more than happy to go and help. Well,
next thing I know I'm flying to LA tomorrow to help him for the next week. So
you probably won't be seeing any website updates for a week or more. Sorry to
disappoint any loyal fans. In the meantime, I'm hoping to find some mean nachos
in La Ciudad de Los Angeles.
3/3/2002 - As a rule of thumb I learned not
to keep my snow brush in the trunk. After a couple of days of snow I decided to
thaw out my car and take it for a drive. I put the keys in to warm it up and
then I moved to the task of removing the snow and ice. As I popped my trunk it
was frozen shut. And not like I needed to pound on it a little, but a good two
inches of ice covering the entire thing. After a minute of mulling over the
possibilities in the blistering 4 degree arctic chill, I found a backup brush
under the passenger seat. This was one of life's lessons that I will remember
despite not having to struggle all that much.
3/2/2002 - The Chicago Bears resigned Jim
Miller to a five year, $20 million contract. I guess that means they're not
getting Drew Bledsoe or any other big name QB. Call me crazy, but even after a
13-3 season, I don't think Jim Miller is really the caliber guy you want to
lead your team in the playoffs. Which one doesn't belong - Donovan McNabb, Kurt
Warner, Brett Favre, or Jim Miller? And speaking of bad moves in Chicago
sports, Da Bulls have started winning lately, and are ruining their chances of
a really good draft pick next year. It is not easy being a sports fan in
Chicago.
3/1/2002 - Forbes came out with their list
of billionaires again. There are 497 billionaires in the world this year, with
Bill Gates topping the list again. If you notice, the Waltons (who inherited
their fortune from Sam Walton, the Wal-Mart dude) are listed at places 6-10. I
wonder if they have a friendly competition every year to see who can be highest
on the list. It may seem that the number six guy with $20.8 billion is pretty
close to number 10 with $20.5 billion. But I'm sure it either takes a lot of
spending or a lot of good business sense to account for the $300,000,000
difference. If anyone on that list is reading this, I still need a new computer
and will gladly accept kind donations. And while I'm on the subject of talking
to famous people, I was serious about going to lunch with Salma. I know you're
probably trying to play hard to get, but you've already won my affection. So
Salma, just drop me a line whenever you want. Check out the billionaire list
and other fun facts here - Billionaires
2/28/2002 - My friend, Nigel, from Australia
told me that he and I are 7 hours different, but after daylight savings time,
we'll be 9 hours off. I guess it only makes sense that our daylight savings
move in opposite directions since our seasons are opposite. I just never really
thought about it. I'll chalk this up as my "DUH" fact of the week.
2/27/2002 - Some psychiatrist doctor dude
studied colors and what they mean about your personality. My mom sent this link
to me - After I was done, it confirmed what a wuss I am. It's interesting and
worth a minute to check out - Colorgenics
Congratulations
to Tool for winning Best Heavy Metal Song Grammy for "Schism". Oh,
and congratulations to all of the other winners too, whoever they were.
2/26/2002 - My computer died today. We had a
wonderful four and a half years together. This morning it went to the big
computer playground in the sky. There's really nothing much else to say right
now. I need to go through the usual mourning process, and I hope to be up and
about in no time. En lieu of flowers, please send money for a new computer.
Today
I learned why our special forces haven't been able to find Osama bin Laden or
anyone else important in Afghanistan. A few of our Green Berets seemed to have
their share of trouble with a deputy in North Carolina - Sub Par
Soldiers
2/25/2002 - My roommate tells me that Enterprise
Rent-A-Car has made more millionaires than any other company. It's 2:30 am and
I'm in no mood to argue.
2/24/2002 - These Taiwanese Monks are all
excited that Buddha's finger just arrived. It made me wonder what they are
planning to do with the finger. "Dude, smell Buddha's finger, huh
huh." Here's the article - http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/02/23/taiwan.buddha/index.html
2/23/2002 - Real slow learning day today. I
had to steal this fact from ESPN:
According
to figures obtained from a Feb. 4 report by the commissioner's office, 42
percent of all professional baseball players are now from countries other than
the United States. And more than three-fourths of them are from either the
Dominican Republic or Venezuela.
Of
the 3,066 players from outside U.S. soil, 53 percent (or 1,630) are from the
Dominican, and 24 percent (or 744) are from Venezuela. There's a huge drop to
the next-closest sources of talent -- Puerto Rico (five percent, or 165) and
Mexico (four percent, or 114). Only 26 players are from Cuba, but half of them
(13) are currently on major-league rosters.
In
my humble opinion, the best foreign-born player is Magglio Ordonez.
2/22/2002 - My roommate exited "The
Throne" and informed me that pigs killed off the dodo bird. We learn all
sorts of interesting facts with "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader". I
think I've read them all. It's worth a visit - http://www.bathroomreader.com/home.html
2/21/2002 - I tend to shit more when it
rains. My theory is it has something to do with the change in barometric
pressure. When the low-pressure system moves in, it causes my insides to expand
ever so slightly and open the floodgates. Does this happen to anyone else? Am I
the only one? I'll do more research and let you know what I find out.
Alright,
the best I found was from a site called Kidspin Online. They say:
"Animals
are also affected by the falling barometric pressure that usually
precedes a storm. Barometric pressure is the pressure that air exerts on
everything, including their bodies. When barometric pressure falls, inside body
pressure must adjust to the change in outside pressure. This can upset the
stomachs of dogs and cats, causing them to eat grass to cure their aches."
So,
close enough. I'm satisfied.
2/20/2002 - I was going through a little
nacho withdrawal, so I checked out Taco Bell's site. Luckily there are 18 Taco
Bells within 5 miles of my house. Probably more alarming is their Nachos Bell
Grande have 760 calories with 39 grams of fat. By hitting all 18 and eating 1
Nachos Bell Grande at each, you'd consume 13,760 calories. That would be pretty
impressive. Check out the closest Taco Bell to your place - http://www.tacobell.com/.
I
need to have a little Taco Bell rant while I'm on the subject. I had eight
coupons for a free Taco Supreme about a month ago. The coupon said "One
per customer per visit". I offered to walk through the door eight times,
if they wouldn't take all at once. To make a long story short, the manager (who
coincidentally was making the tacos too) got involved and would only accept one
coupon from me. Now you have to realize that you have to attend a Bulls game
where they score more than 100 points to use these coupons. This happens about
as often as you hear "Ras Triya Gaan", the Nepalese National Anthem,
on the medal podium. I ended up giving the coupons to all of the other customers
in the Taco Bell. If you ever go to the Taco Bell by Wrigley Field, that's the
one.
2/19/2002 - I was reading that the British
"accidentally" invaded Spain during some botched up practice mission.
Sounds like a perfect excuse for Mr. George W. to use when he
"accidentally" bombs Baghdad. The goofy British story (is there any
other kind?) is here - http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/02/18/britain.marines/index.html
2/18/2002 - My friend Danny reminded me today
that "Pitching wins pennants", and that the Yankees have a far
superior pitching staff than the White Sox. What I learned is that Rick Reed of
the Twins is becoming a free agent as of March 15th and the Yankees
are looking to deal "El Duque". The Sox better make a run at one of
these guys if they think they really have a shot at winning it all. I'm pretty
psyched to have found http://www.chicagosports.com/
as my new source of Chicago sports information.
2/17/2002
- The Chinese
really like to blow up lots of firecrackers to celebrate their New Year. Happy
year 4700, The Year of the Horse.
2/16/2002 - I remember as a young boy
listening to a song called "The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota".
Sure enough, the biggest twine ball made by one person is located in Darwin,
Minnesota. This dude spent four hours a day for 40 years putting the behemoth
together. Then he died. Altogether is weighs 17,400 pounds and is twelve feet
in diameter. I bet if we unraveled that sucker it'd roll all of the way down to
Fargo, North Dakota. Read about it more here - http://tlc.discovery.com/convergence/manmade/blunders/twine.html
2/15/2002 - My brother tells me that all of
those "Under the Cap" games legally have to offer up free game pieces
through the mail. I guess it might be worth sending in for some of those, but I
always seem to get "Sorry. Play Again." Which kind of reminds me of
those pieces of paper that has "How do you keep an idiot entertained for
hours? (Turn Over)" written on both sides. They are both really ways to
waste my time and the last thing I need is a Sprite bottle cap to remind me of
what I loser I am.
You
know you can type in GPS coordinates online and see a map of where you are? I
was goofing around trying to nail down where I live, and I'm within probably
.001 latitude and longitude. I'd give you the coordinates, but how do I know
you're not some psycho with a chainsaw? To give you a ballpark figure, it was
somewhere around 41.9 degrees latitude and -87.7 degrees longitude. I figure
that's vague enough where psychos will have to work pretty hard to find me. Try
it for yourself at http://www.mapblast.com/.
I
just read that the Chicago Cubs haven't had consecutive winning seasons in 30
years. That made me happy - It seemed to validate my belief that they are not,
and have never been good. Well, at least not in my lifetime, or my dad's
lifetime, or his dad's lifetime. And for those who aren't sports savvy, a
winning season only means having more wins than losses.
2/14/2002 - I was reading the headlines on
cnn.com and saw one that read "Bush unveils global warming plan". I
think we've done a fine job warming the globe without any planning so far.
Perhaps we might be better off unveiling a global cooling plan instead.
2/13/2002
- I spent the
afternoon at the Chicago auto show with my dad. It is always nice spending time
together with my dad. But there really didn't seem to be a whole lot of
anything new or innovative at the show outside of some of the concept vehicles.
In fact, there seems to be this trend combining cars with SUVs, and they end up
looking like a new generation of station wagons. But I have to admit that what
they lacked in innovation they made up for in good-looking women. I wouldn't
mind finding myself a job recruiting these model-type people. Jeep did have
this cool waterfall that spelled out words like "Jeep" and
"Wrangler" with the water. But I digress. What I learned is that
Chevrolet is coming up with a hybrid Corvette/Pick up truck that is going to be
priced in the high $30,000s. Apparently Chevy strongly believes that there is a
big market for an expensive, sporty pick up truck. I know I wouldn't have
invested a dime to support it. I guess only time will tell. You can check it
all out here - http://www.chicagoautoshow.com/.
2/12/2002 - I have RCN as my as my cable and
internet provider. Let me rephrase that. I pay RCN assuming that when I get on
my computer I won't have a problem checking me email. We've been down for the
last four hours and they won't give me an ETA. I guess if you're reading this,
we're finally back online. They don't seem too eager to give out refunds
either. I think I've spent more on local phone calls trying to get money back
than I've actually received. What I've learned is sometimes you get what you
pay for. And sometimes you don't get what you pay for. So, as my good deed for
the day, I urge you to not use RCN as your internet provider. I'd give you a
link to check them out, but what do you know? I can't quite seem to get online
to find their site for you.
I
also learned that curling is actually a pretty cool sport. It's like combining
bowling, bocci balls, shoveling your driveway and sweeping your kitchen all
into one game. Did you know the foul line is called the "hog line"?
Neither did I. By the way, I saw the U.S. women make a pretty sweet comeback
against the Japanese team this afternoon. http://www.nbcolympics.com/
2/11/2002 - Today I learned that stupid
people can really make my life difficult. Have you ever tried downloading music
and put in a word like 'acoustic' in your search? Some people like to think
that acoustic means anything performed live. Does it bear explaining that
acoustic means no electric guitars and no electronica? I was hoping to hear
things like you hear on MTV Unplugged. What I end up with is crappy bootleg of
Metallica's "Master of Puppets", which to my knowledge has never and
will never be played acoustically. And while I'm on the subject, acapella means
without instruments - voices only. So no, Extreme's "More Than Words"
does not constitute acapella. It does, however, fit in the acoustic category.
I
learned something else today. That the luge king has just been dethroned. Poor
Georg Hackl, also known as "The Speeding Sausage" was beaten by
Italy's Armin Zoeggeler. I don't know if I feel worse because he lost for the
first time in 14 years or because he's lived with such a horrible nickname for
that long. Ok, I really don't feel bad. Like most Olympic athletes, I had never
heard of him until today. Here's their heartfelt story - http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/olympics/2002/luge/news/2002/02/11/singles_luge_ap/
2/10/2002 - If you're wondering how the
"party" turned out, two people showed up for an hour, then left
because they had dinner plans. So my roommate and I treated ourselves to some
burritos. We then headed out to the closest bar to kill some time. We usually
pick somewhere close because we're both admittedly lazy. To our surprise, a
high school friend was playing in a band there, and a couple other buddies were
there to watch. Check out the band here - http://www.fazermusic.com/.
Overall ended up being a decent night. To everyone else that ditched us… Screw
you guys. Today I learned that even Michael Jordan can miss a dunk. It's kind
of like when those kids miss on the first Bozo bucket and nobody knows what to
say because you really should have made it.
2/9/2002 - My roommate and I have called
about a dozen people hoping to have a little gathering tonight. As of 6 PM
nobody is coming over. I've learned that there must be something wrong with us.
I just haven't figured out what just yet. We're even offering up free wine.
What gives?
2/8/2002 - The Winter Olympics don't seem
nearly as exciting as the Summer Olympics. But these athletes seem a lot hotter
even with their scarves and parkas on. It also seems unfair that the US has
about 500 more athletes competing than every other country. No wonder most
other countries hate us. I also felt a little bad for Macedonia, seeing as
though they ended up in the 'F' category alphabetically. Some geniuses at the IOC
said that their official country name is "Former Yugoslav Republic of
Macedonia". How would you like it if we were the "Former British
colony of The United States of America"? You can check it out at NBC's
Olympic site - Olympic
List of Countries
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